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Keeping Perspective: When Bad Things Happen That Are Not Life Threatening
The very first thing to question is how important is this in the overall scheme of life? Compared to all of the things that have happened, are happening, and could happen in my life - how bad is this? Is it something that will impact the rest of my life? Is it temporary? Although the pain may not feel like it's temporary, it usually is. It's important to get a perspective. If your car has been stolen, that's a major nuisance that will cost you time and money to replace, but how does that compare to a diagnosis of cancer? If your marriage is ending, it can be extremely painful, but your life will continue no matter how bleak circumstances may seem. So wouldn't it be easier to find a way to transcend the pain and move on, let go, and take away the power from the negativity? Wouldn't it be more pleasant to look at the 'bright side'? and yes! There always is a flip side! It may not be one you believe in at the moment, it may not be where you want to focus, but there IS another perspective.
It's good to keep in mind - although during the painful period it's not always the first thought - that out of every crisis comes an opportunity. No matter how bleak or dire circumstances may seem, we can't change them, but we CAN control how we view them. Again, it's our perspective - our "Point of View" (P.O.V.)
Usually when something bad happens, we take it personally. For instance, when a boss is constantly yelling, demanding and being unreasonable, we feel as though we are not okay, our well-being is in question. In actuality, it's usually not personal - not about us. It feels as though it's coming AT you - so often, we say "Why me?" but it's not really ABOUT you. It's usually the other person venting, feeling frustrated angry and they are holding the emotion. You only take it on if you choose to do so. Eleanor Roosevelt said it beautifully: "You can't make someone feel inferior without their consent."
Now that the bad thing has happened, you have the ability to stop giving it power and energy and to begin feeling free and truly let it go. Only by holding on to the thoughts of the past, can they stay alive. What are you getting out of hanging onto it? The negativity can be draining your energy, taking up time, keeping you from other things. We may want revenge, may want to vent our anger, or choose to stay in the victim 'poor me' role, and feel sorry for ourselves. That's okay initially - briefly, but it becomes a waste of energy when life is continuing without us.
The main choice is to transcend it (not often easy when you are enmeshed in the pain) or if possible, do something about it... otherwise you are whining, Complaining seems like you are doing something about it when you really are NOT. What you are doing is feeding the pain or anger so that it stays alive and well. By letting it go, it dies; it disappears; it can be left behind. If you are unhappy with the way your boss or significant other treats you, you could possibly have a talk with him/her explaining how unhappy you are - how their behavior is affecting you; you can leave the job; you can look at the bright side - you HAVE a job, or you could continue to complain and experience the same old, same old. While there are many more options possible, the first one has to be how you view the situation - as that's the ONLY place where you have complete control. By coming into the present and focusing on the positives - no matter how difficult it may be, you are taking control and taking the first step towards freedom.
Invitation to Experiment:Think about the things that you are holding onto from the past. What is still swirling in your mind that is no longer truly relevant to you right now? Where can you change your point of view (P.O.V.) and affect a difference in how you feel about a situation? What have you been complaining about lately? Is there something you can do about it? What are you believing is directed at you? Can you see it from another perspective so that you can see that it's about the other person and not about you?
Marion Franklin - is a Professional Certified Life Coach who coaches individuals and groups regarding personal and professional change, focus, human relations, and conflict management. Marion has coached managers at major corporations including PepsiCo, Toys'R'Us, and Reader's Digest. She conducts and help clients design workshops and presentations, has been a featured presenter at meetings, retreats, and an ongoing Women's Workshop Series, has been cited in The Journal News and The Wall Street Journal, and has appeared on local Cable Television.http://www.lifecoachinggroup.com
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Inventor's Problem-Identification Carries No Patentable Weight (When Alternative Motivation Exists) Patently-O
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Baltimore Ravens Coach and his father motivate in the Duke City KRQE News 13
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3 Ways To Keep Employees Motivated When A Promotion Isn't An Option And A Raise Isn't In The Budget - Forbes
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news Trent Brown talks contract motivation, friendship with former Raiders linebacker Neiron Ball Young men across - Raiders.com
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33% of Small Business Owners Struggling to Find the Motivation Small Business Trends
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Michigan State using doubters as motivation in the NCAA Tournament WXMI FOX 17 West Michigan
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LSU, Maryland's opponent in NCAA tournament, motivated by teammate Wayde Sims' murder - Baltimore Sun
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Josh Hart, Rajon Rondo think Lakers shouldn’t need free agency as motivation - Silver Screen and Roll
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Jim Boylen is providing motivation wherever he can as the Bulls face Blake Griffin and the red-hot Pistons again - Chicago Tribune
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Is Failure the End of Everything?
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Are You the Motivator
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The Simple Life
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Tips for Mastering Visualization Techniques
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Courage Is A Gift
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What Being Vs Doing Really Means
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How To Win Over Your Fears
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Change 101: How to Handle the Changes that Come Your Way
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How to Beat Procrastination and Self Doubt
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Glass Half Full
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Back to Boot Camp
You know, whenever you are going to make a major change and begin to undergo a different lifestyle, it is probably good to make a massive move in that direction. Think about it.
Achieving Your Dreams
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Employee Motivation - The 8 Basics
Building a team of motivated people in your business is vital to get the very best results, but so many managers focus on the 'ra-ra-ra', rather than the important things - the things that make people feel comfortable in their working environment. Here are eight that you might want to have a think about:The WeatherIs it too hot, or too cold.
Are You Facing Challenges? Then Make A Different Decision
Many people don't really understand the gift they have been given in their ability to be decisive. According to the dictionary, decisiveness means 'having the power or quality of settling a dispute, question, doubt, contest, event, etc.
How To Get Motivated When You Have An Off Day
What can you do on days like these? Is there a way to get motivated and stay motivated?There are three simple yet powerful ways to pull yourself out of a slump. And best of all you can start using these strategies today.
Walk In The Light
It was a mild October night, weeks after the horrific September 11 terrorists attacks on our nation. With a mix of anticipation and apprehension, my husband, children and I, entered the gates of the North Carolina state fair.
How Self-Made Millionaires Overcome Procrastination
Do you want to know how the super successful overcome procrastination?One fascinating hallmark of all highly motivatedmillionaires is their strongly held conviction that theywill succeed. Whatever it takes and despite any challengesthat crop up.
Make Up Excuses Why You Can
We all have excuses as to why we can't do something. Ask anyone and they can give you a million excuses why it can't be done, why they haven't moved forward on their goals, and on and on.
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